


Understanding

by Destiny_Writes



Series: Understanding [1]
Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Crying, First Crush, First Kiss, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Hugging, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Temper Tantrums, shouting, venting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:27:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23209252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiny_Writes/pseuds/Destiny_Writes
Summary: Being a cross-dresser had its flaws, Yuki would know. There were many times when he was confused as a girl, and many more as a girlfriend, which did become frustrating at times. He’d always become anxious whenever the cross-dressing was brought up between strangers. Most of them understood, but he could still remember those disgusted faces when he told them, and the insults that came after. They hurt him, deep. But he’s been telling himself that he was old enough to take on those insults, and that it made him weak to cry in front of strangers he didn’t know. Or worse, people he did know.
Relationships: Rurikawa Yuki/Sakisaka Muku
Series: Understanding [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1671952
Comments: 13
Kudos: 73





	Understanding

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so for people who’ve played A3!, the entire first part is a flashback, so you can skip that if you already know the story. (The end of the first part is when the first border appears) But if you really want to read it, then sure, be my guest!

Understanding. Yuki would give up anything just to be understood by everyone else.

Being a cross-dresser had its flaws, Yuki would know. There were many times when he was confused as a girl, and many more as a girlfriend, which did become frustrating at times. He’d always become anxious whenever the cross-dressing was brought up between strangers. Most of them understood, but he could still remember those disgusted faces when he told them, and the insults that came after. They hurt him, deep. But he’s been telling himself that he was old enough to take on those insults, and that it made him weak to cry in front of strangers he didn’t know. Or worse, people he did know.

He could remember the first time he handed out flyers like it was yesterday. It was bright and sunny outside, the perfect weather for summer. The Spring and Summer Troupes agreed to go in pairs while handing out flyers, and so he was paired with Muku because of their familiarity toward each other. Thank goodness he wasn’t with that Psycho-Stalker, or worse, the Hack. Who knows how badly that’d go if they were paired together.

After they received the info of where they needed to hand out the flyers, they exited the dorms and walked side-by-side across the sidewalk. They were silent for most of the time they were walking, until Muku spoke up. “Aren’t you excited, Yuki? We’re one of the first pairs to be handing out these flyers for the Summer Troupe’s play, after all.” He looked toward Muku and saw the same light in his eyes as whenever he’d start talking about shojo manga. Not only that, but his classmate had a slight spring to his step as well. He must be ecstatic about this.

“Uh... yeah, I guess.” He turned his head away from Muku toward the other side of the street to hide his discomfort. Who knows what kind of people they’d meet while they were there. Would he get insulted again, like he always did? Just thinking about it, he almost wanted to turn his heel and walk back to the dorms right now.

Muku’s voice broke the silence once more. “Oh, we’re almost there! C’mon Yuki, let’s go!” Muku grabbed Yuki’s hand and dragged him across the sidewalk, experienced legs running as fast as they could carry them. A furious Yuki tried to catch up to him and tried desperately to run faster, struggling in the process.

“H-Hey! Slow down you stupid Wonder Boy! You’re going too fast!” He shouted. One thing he didn’t like about Muku was his ability to get distracted easily. One glance at a rock and he could make some crazy story ending with him getting sold for human trafficking. The same could go for people, if you were unlucky enough.

Muku heard him, and he slowed down to a stop, letting go of his hand to let Yuki catch his breath. “A-Ah… Sorry about that Yuki…” He apologized, flushing a little out of embarrassment.

Yuki huffed and puffed, trying to regain his composure. “Warn me the next time you do that, please.” Yuki straightened his back, still breathing heavily. “You really took track and field seriously, huh?”

Muku’s eyes widened at the question. Where’d Yuki get the info about him doing track and field? “Well, yeah, I kinda did take it super seriously back then…” Muku hesitated, glancing down. “But honestly, it’s all I’ve got going for me.” Muku looked a little somber as he said this, his pale blue eyes drained of the excitement they once had in them. He sighed before changing his expression completely, now brimming with confidence. “So, how should we start handing out the flyers?” He asked.

Yuki furrowed his brow. He’d never done anything like this before, but he did ask some of the Spring Troupe members for advice. “Maybe something like…” He straightened up his posture and plastered a sweet smile on his face, one that was sure to catch people’s attention. “We are the Mankai Company! Please come see us perform!” From the corner of his vision, he could see Muku marvelling at what he did. Yuki couldn’t lie, he felt a little prideful seeing that Muku was looking up to him in such a way. “Water Me! A tale based on the Arabian Nights!”

Before long, Muku decided to join in. “Mankai Summer Troupe, opening day coming soon!” Now it was his turn to marvel at Muku, as he unleashed his excitement into his actions and words. “Here miss, have a flyer!” He walked up to a young lady and offered her a flyer, one of the most genuine smiles he’d ever seen spread on his face.

“Oh!” The woman seemed startled for a split second, before taking the flyer and scanning it with her eyes. She smiled a little before looking back at Muku. “I’m not that interested in this kind of stuff, but I know some people who might! May I have a couple more of those flyers, please?” 

Muku smiled even brighter, if that was humanly possible, and gave some more flyers to the woman. “Here you go!”

“Thank you. I’m sure they’ll be excited to see you perform.” Before long, the woman left, clutching the flyers in her hand. Muku ran up to Yuki with the biggest smile on his face.

“Did you see that, Yuki? I gave our first few flyers of the day!” Muku looked adorable, he was practically bursting with excitement right now. Yuki would be lying if he said that he didn’t enjoy this side of Muku all that much.

Without thinking, he accidentally blurted out another one of his sarcastic remarks. “Yeah, yeah, I saw what happened. We need to hand out all of these flyers before the sun goes down, so don’t get distracted.”

Despite Yuki’s sarcastic tone, Muku straightened up instantly, brimming with confidence. “Don’t worry, I will!”

The rest of the day went by in a blur. Dozens of people, left and right, came to grab a flyer from their hands. It was almost a miracle what had happened, they didn’t expect for their flyers to be taken away so quickly. Luckily for Yuki, no strangers asked if he was a cross-dresser or not, and their piles were almost empty, so they were making good progress. He could hardly remember the fight he had with that one God Troupe member, but everything else seemed to be running pretty smoothly. Muku was out, but Yuki still had one flyer clutched in his hands. One more person, then they could go back to the dorms and rest for the day.

“We’re the Mankai Company, come see us perform!”

“Opening night, coming soon!”

Despite all the shouting they were doing, Yuki managed to hear some voices close by, and he swiveled his head around to look. Two boys, his classmates, were staring right at him. They muttered something between themselves and began walking toward the pair, smirks on their faces.

‘Oh god… just when I thought I was lucky…’ Yuki thought, dread filling up his gut. He gulped and turned away from them, hoping that they wouldn’t interact with him.

“Still dressin’ up like a girl, huh?” One of them said, grabbing Yuki’s shoulder and spinning him around so they were facing each other.

The other chuckled. “Ain’t that precious? It’s a good look on you!” The other teased, sarcasm dripping down every word he said.

“Why not go all the way and get a sex change?”

“Yeah, you wouldn’t even have to change your name!”

With each word they spoke, he felt something slowly suffocating him, and he found it hard to breathe. His breaths became more frequent and his eyes began to water. He clenched his hands into fists. ‘No, now’s not the time to cry. These are my classmates after all. I can handle them. They’ve done stuff like this before.’ He kept it all in, bravely making eye contact with one of them.

Before Yuki could react, however, one of them noticed the flyer he was clutching to his chest, and he grabbed it carelessly, almost managing to rip it. It made “So what’s this? Passing out flyers for a cross-dressing cafe?” With what little strength he had, Yuki mustered out a glare. He hadn’t even looked at it yet!

“Hm?” Muku was taking watch for people passing by, but a few voices behind him caught his attention. He spun around, wondering what had caused the noise. He gasped as he saw what was happening, and rushed over to help his dear friend. “Woah, hey excuse me!” He butted in, pushing them away a little.

Yuki noticed this. And although he felt as if he might wrack a sob if he opened his mouth, he did so anyway. “Let it go.” He managed to say, without any hint of a stutter. ‘I guess being an actor has its benefits.’ He thought.

“Yuki…” Muku muttered, staring at him sadly.

One of his classmates spoke up. “What’s this? A cross-dressing buddy?” He snickered, staring at Muku like he was prey to a wolf.

Yuki noticed the way Muku jumped as the boy said it, fear apparent in his eyes. The vulnerability he was feeling showed as he shook a little, something that Yuki hated to see. He decided to step up for themselves, confident that he’d be able to change their minds about them. “It’s not a cross-dressing cafe. It’s theatre. We’re passing out flyers for a play.” He retorted.

“Theatre?” The one holding the flyer said. He gazed at it, and realized that it was, in fact, theatre. 

“Yes…” Yuki started, in a tone that he knew well. “Tonight I have another tale to share with you. One of a thousand tales that capture the imagination.” He did the line perfectly, posture straight and facial expressions hitting the mark. The director would’ve been pleased if she saw it.

There was an awkward silence between them. Long enough for Yuki to think, ‘Oh god, did I do the right thing? They might just hate me even more than they did before…’ Even so, he made no turn to speak or even think about letting out his inner emotions.

“The hell is that?” One of them asked mockingly.

“That’s the play.” Yuki answered, heart still thumping loudly in his ears. “You did read the flyer, didn’t you? Surely you’ll show up at closing night, right?”

The other took a glance at the flyer as well, realization dawning on his features. “Uh, wow, I guess if it’s theatre…” He muttered.

“Yeah, uh, as long as it’s not a cross-dressing cafe…” The first spoke up.

“This could work…” He glanced at his buddy.

“Yeah…” The other glanced back. There seemed to be an unspoken agreement between the two, but honestly, Yuki couldn’t care less. He just wanted to be away from them, and somewhere he could feel safe.

He took in a deep breath before unleashing his final remark. “See you there!” He said, plastering another small smile on his face.

He swear he could see the slightest blush on their faces as they turned to leave, mumbling to one another silently. Suddenly, a wave of emotions hit him, released from holding them back too long. “...Ugh.” He shivered a little, his heart pounding in his ears and his eyes tearing up, threatening to spill over if he didn’t do something fast. He turned away from Muku, on the brink of breaking down.

“Yuki?” He could hear Muku’s voice behind him, his name being called out in worry.

‘I can’t let him see what I’m going through… I can handle it by myself.’ Yuki thought, bottling up his emotions once more. “There, all done. Let’s get back.” He didn’t even wait for Muku to catch up as he started walking back the way they came, desperate for some peace and quiet.

“Ah..! Right!” Yuki could hear Muku’s voice behind him as he caught up to him easily, but it was apparent that he was walking faster than usual. He was sure that Muku would notice his desperation in his movements as they headed back. It was silent for most of the way back, as neither spoke a word. Well, that was, until he heard a familiar voice coming from beside him. “Yuki, I have to say, you’re really cool.”

Well, that was uncalled for.

Yuki answered instantly, looking over at his friend. “Huh? Why?” He asked. He slowed down his pace a little at the question. He’s been called “cute” before, but close to nobody has ever used the word “cool” to describe him.

“You know, earlier…” Muku started, glancing over fondly at his friend. Yuki had never seen that look directed at him before, let alone one that made heat well up on his cheeks. Before long, his heartbeat started up again, and a tightness began to spread in his chest.

Yuki looked away from him, afraid to keep this conversation going. Nonetheless, he responded. “I was just taking a page out of the God Troupe’s fan service routine.” Yuki stated simply, close to breaking apart once more.

Muku chuckled a little. “I know, but it was still really cool of you.” Oh god, if Muku used the word “cool” ever again, he’d feel as if he might die.

Before long, it became too much. The emotions bottled up inside him for so long began spilling out, and tears threatened to fall. He looked over at Muku, eyes watering. “Come here.” He muttered desperately.

“Sure.” Muku responded as Yuki latched onto him. He walked over to an alleyway between the houses, somewhere private where Yuki wouldn’t be seen crying. He was quite grateful for this. If anyone else saw him like this, it’d probably be the death of him.

Teardrops fell onto Muku’s shirt as Yuki wracked a sob, clutching his arms tightly around Muku’s waist. He nestled his head in the crook of Muku’s neck, and found out that he smelled faintly of vanilla. It seemed to calm him down a little, but the gesture was very sweet, and the fondness was too much for Yuki to handle. “Seriously, you were really cool right now.” As Muku said this, Yuki wracked out another painful sob. Muku was just too nice to him. All the things he’d ever wished for were right here with him when he needed it most, and the comfort was so overbearing.

All Yuki could do to reply was mutter out a simple “...Mm.” as a response. He was afraid of opening his mouth, he didn’t want to break down even more. Not at a place like this.

“The way you can keep calm when someone treats you like that, Yuki… I really respect that about you.” Yuki shivered. He felt the warm touch of Muku’s hand as it combed through his locks of olive hair, making his grip loosen a little on his sweater.

“Okay, you can stop now. I get it.” He said with a shaky voice. How could Muku be this comforting in situations like these? Was it the soft demeanor he felt whenever he was around him? The high-pitched tremor of his voice whenever he spoke? Or was it the relationship that provided the most comfort, and not a physical trait at all? One thing was for sure, he had no idea what it was that made it so comforting.

“Sure.” Muku responded, as Yuki continued to sob in his arms. The sky was getting darker and the streets were getting bare, further signs that they should get back to the dorms before anyone got worried about them.

Slowly but surely, Yuki was recovering from his breakdown. His eyes were red, he was shaking, and lines from his eyes down to his chin were the only remnant of tears to be seen. He sniffled a little, looking Muku straight in the eyes. “...Thanks.” He said, giving him a small smile from the little strength he had left.

“Sure thing. We’ll both give this play our best.” Muku replied, a hint of confidence apparent in his expression. Yuki was filled to the brim with happiness he’d never felt before. To know that someone was there for him when he needed it most… it was something that Yuki always wanted. And now that he had that, he couldn’t help but smile like an idiot.

“Damn right we will.” He said. He wiped the tears from his cheeks and straightened up, offering his hand to the other. Muku looked at the hand in surprise, not expecting it. Yuki frowned, furrowing his brow. “C’mon, I don’t have all day.”

Muku flinched at his tone. “Ah..! Sorry!” He quickly grabbed ahold of his hand and together they speed-walked toward the dorms. 

The sun was already below the horizon, signalling that another day was over. Little did Yuki know that the feelings bubbling up within him were the reason why he felt so safe around Muku.

—— ————— ——

“Umm… excuse me, can I have one of those flyers?” 

Ah, crap, he wasn’t focusing on what he was supposed to be doing. “Ah, sorry miss, here, make sure you’ll enjoy us live!” Yuki handed the woman the flyer, that same fake smile plastered to his face.

“Thank you.” She replied. She walked away with the flyer clutched in her hand, while Yuki sighed in exhaustion.

‘Ugh… That was close.’ He thought. It wasn’t often that he’d resort to daydreaming about things, but maybe it was the place that seemed to trigger his memory from more than a year ago. He had to say, nothing looked new. The street corner’s been the same as it always has been, the same old shops cluttered with the same old items. He was starting to get more familiar with the strangers he’d talk to while passing out flyers, but all in all, nothing seemed to change.

The rest of the day went by as usual, with the stack of flyers decreasing steadily and his energy slowly depleting. And he still needed to make some adjustments to those costumes later. Great. He was almost out until he heard some muttering behind him. He turned around to face the noise, and saw a group of three boys muttering to each other and glancing at him. ‘Ugh… As if this day can’t get any worse.’ He thought.

He certainly hoped they were talking about him in a fan-type of way, and not the latter that he was used to. Well, “used to” weren’t really the words to use, but he was getting better at handling his emotions whenever it happened. Surely he’d be able to handle this with a straight face.

He noticed that they were heading towards him, and he kept his posture straight and a smile on his face, hiding any sliver of discomfort on his features. He looked away from them, turning his head off to the other side of the street. ‘Please don’t be a repeat of what happened last time…’ he thought. He took another glance toward them, and soon realised that he didn’t know these boys at all. They didn’t go to St. Flora, that was for sure. He’d remember those faces anywhere if he’d seen them. Were they strangers then? ‘Probably.’ Yuki thought, answering his own question. Strangers were definitely better than classmates in Yuki’s opinion.

“Hey.” One of them called out. Yuki turned his entire body to face them, flyers clutched to his chest.

“Yeah?” He replied.

“Are you that Yuki Rurikawa everyone’s talking about? Y’know, the cross-dresser from that Mankai Company?” Huh. He didn’t know he was that famous, but he did get quite a number of fans from his last show where he was the lead.

“M’hm.” He nodded. “If you’re interested, the Autumn Troupe’s performing for their next play. If you want to see it, you three can each have a flyer.” He handed one out for each of them, smiling softly.

“Look. Let’s cut the crap.” He swatted his hand away with a smack, and he flinched. “We’re not interested in anything the Mankai Company has to offer, especially if it’s related to you.” Oh. So that’s the problem.

Yuki sighed in defeat. He really didn’t want to deal with this right now. Couldn’t he just go back to the dorms and rest? It’d be much better than standing here with a bunch of people who didn’t understand him and his habits. “Look. If you don’t like me, can’t you just leave? I’m trying to do my job here, and you’re disrupting it.” That came out way more sarcastic than he wanted it to, but honestly, he couldn’t care less. This isn’t the same Yuki that stood on the same street corner a year ago. He’s aged, and he’s matured. He was old enough to handle these things.

“Wow, so the rumors were true.” The second smirked. Yuki raised an eyebrow at this. What rumors? Were people talking about him behind his back? “Hm… you seem confused. I’m guessing that you don’t know what those rumors are, don’t you?”

Yuki frowned. “Whatever they are, I don’t want to hear them. Go find somebody else to bother.” While it was true that he found it annoying, he really didn’t want more things to ruin his mood, so he turned his back on them and tried walking away. Emphasis on “tried”, as the first one grabbed his wrist and pulled him back so that they were face-to-face once more.

“Listen, if you don’t want to get punched in the gut, you better listen to what we have to say.” He threatened, a predatory expression on his face. 

Despite how he tried to stay composed, Yuki’s fear was apparent in his expression. ‘A threat?’ Yuki thought. He didn’t get many of those, but it still shook him when it happened. For one, Yuki wasn’t the best at defending himself when it got physical, or even at running away for that matter. He had his phone in his bag. Maybe he could call the director to bring over Banri or Juza… like they’d let that happen. The strangers were much taller than him and looked stronger. Might as well agree to their request if there was nothing else to do. “Fine. But make it quick.”

The third smirked and spoke up. “I’m sure you’ve heard about the hate mail Mankai’s been receiving, right?” Ah right, that. Despite the big pile of fan mail that gets directed toward the company, there were still one or two letters in there that weren’t in their favour to read. Yuki would know, he’d accidentally read one of them last month. Even so, it didn’t really affect the company all that much, so he wasn’t sure on why they decided to bring it up.

“Uh, yeah. I’m not sure what this conversation has to do with any of that, though.” He replied saltily.

The second chuckled. “Salty as always, I see…” He sighed a little before pushing up the glasses on his face. “Well, why don’t we get straight to the point?” He smirked at him, mischief apparent in his expression. “We’ve been keeping track of all the hate mail Mankai receives, and it turns out that over a third of them are addressed to you.”

‘What?’ He thought. If that was true, then… was he the one that’s mostly responsible for all the hate that’s been happening toward the company?

“Startled?” The third asked. “Don’t worry, we know how hard it is to take in.” Oh, they had no idea. He could feel the feelings coming back to him in the same way that it was a year ago. His eyes teared up, his fists clenched, and his heartbeat was loud in his ears. He didn’t want to be a burden to the company. He didn’t want to be a burden to Muku. It hurt. Deeply. Another scar to add to his collection.

The first one, after a long time of staying silent, decided to speak up. “You know, maybe you should consider leaving. It would do a great deal of good for your company if you left.” That delivered the final blow, as all air seemed to disappear from his lungs.

With a sob, Yuki broke down on the spot. The trio looked down on him in triumph, pride apparent in their expressions. He didn’t want it to happen. Why did it have to happen right now? He wanted it to stop. He needed it to stop. But he seemed to lack all self-control right now.

“Wow, I didn’t think it’d be that easy.” The second said, mocking him. “Whatever happened to the Yuki your friends saw on stage a few months ago?” As he said this, Yuki continued to sob. He wanted comfort, needed it right now. But he wasn’t sure what he could do to save himself. “Your troupe members would hate to see you like this. Just accept that you’re weak, Yuki. It’s not like anyone’s told you otherwise.”

And that was when they made their grave mistake. ‘Nobody’s told me otherwise?’ He thought. ‘No. There’s one person.’ It all happened a year ago, but he could hear Muku’s voice clear in his head.

‘The way you can keep calm when someone treats you like that Yuki… I really respect that about you.’ He remembered Muku’s words, clear as day. And right then, on the spot, he knew what he had to do. If he couldn’t save himself, he had to get someone to help him. 

He bolted, right then and there, the flyers clenched tightly to his chest. He bolted past Kazunari, who let out a faint “Yukki?” behind him as he ran. Despite his plans, Yuki knew that he wouldn’t be able to conceal his emotions as he ran back to the dorms, and so he didn’t. Tears flew from his eyes onto the ground. His heartbeat was loud in his ears. His breathing was unsteady. But yet, the desire for comfort was greater than any feeling he’s ever felt before.

With a loud bang, Yuki threw open the front door, not caring if anyone heard or not. He ran into the courtyard and up the stairs to room 202, grabbing the doorknob and twisting it with as much force as possible, barging into the room. He was out of breath, and he felt tired from all that running. Nevertheless, he managed to lift his head and look straight at Muku, who was surprised at the sudden breach of privacy.

“Muku-“ He only had to say his name once for the other to get the message. In an instant, Muku was right in front of him, looking straight into his eyes with that same soft expression he used a year ago. “Muku, i-it happened again. It happened again.” His words were messy, his breathing was shaky, and the sniffling didn’t help. Even so, Muku was there for him. He dragged him over to the white couch chair on the side of his room and sat down on it, holding Yuki in his arms.

“It’s alright Yuki. I’m here for you.” He said, trailing his fingers through Yuki’s soft locks of hair. Yuki shivered in his arms once more. The sweater Muku was wearing was fluffy, and the strands of thread tickled the skin on his face when he laid down on it. Muku grabbed the flyers from Yuki’s possession and put them on the side table. With his other hand, he wiped the tears from Yuki’s eyes, smiling down at him comfortingly.

He was recovering much more quickly then the last time it happened, which was a big improvement from last year. He laid on Muku’s sweater silently as the other continued to mutter sweet compliments to him, warming himself up from the inside out. It was just as comforting as the last time, if not more. Sometimes Yuki wishes that he could stay like this all day.

“Hey, Muku?” He asked.

“Yeah? What is it?” He replied, question written on his features. But despite this, he managed to hold that same soft expression he had before. Yuki didn’t know how he did it so well. Maybe he was just a natural at it.

“About the hate mail we’re receiving…” He started. He wasn’t quite sure whether or not he should tell Muku about it, but he decided that he was the best person to talk to about this sort of thing. He trusted him an awful lot, too. He took a deep breath and continued. “Is it true that more than a third of it is directed toward me?” He asked shakily.

“Huh?” Muku seemed startled at the question, but even so, he answered almost instantly. “Well… I’m not sure about that. We don’t keep track of that kinda stuff…” As he said this, Yuki seemed a bit more depressed than before. Muku noticed this and he spoke up again before he made Yuki feel even worse. “But look, even if you were correct, and it’s true that over a third of the hate mail we get is addressed to you, what really matters is how you handle it.” He smiled once more, looking Yuki in the eye.

‘Huh… I’ve never thought of it that way before…’ Yuki mused.

Muku decided to continue. “For example, let’s say that someone in our company received no hate mail at all. But if they find at least one letter addressed to them that’s criticising their acting, it wouldn’t feel very good, since they don’t get many. But in the end, it’s the actor’s decision on whether or not he’ll let it slide or bear the burden.” He explained delicately. Yuki had never heard Muku offer such helpful advice towards people before. He wasn’t the type of person to do that, after all. “So what I’m saying is… Try not to let it bother you that much, ok?”

Yuki looked up and met his gaze, amber fixed on pale blue. He could feel his cheeks heating up from the proximity they were at. “Uh… yeah, sure.” He glanced away, flustered. He had to admit, Muku looked and acted very much like a real prince. He’d never say it out loud, though. Who knows what kind of story Muku would make up if that happened?

“Oh, and…” Muku started, smiling brightly. “If you ever need any comfort or advice, I’m always happy to help, Yuki.” To be honest, Yuki had never thought that someone would be there to help him any day, at any time. A year ago, he wouldn’t even think of going to other people for advice. He always thought he was fine on his own. But now… he’s not sure what to feel.

“Yeah. Thanks.” He muttered silently, quickly getting off of Muku’s lap. It was comfy, but if anyone saw them like that, he’d kill them at first glance. “Uh… and can you not tell anyone about this?” He asked. He was still uncertain of how he was going to explain this to anyone if they found out, but he also didn’t want anyone nagging to give him advice and whatnot. Honestly, keeping things a secret seemed to be the best option.

Muku smiled once more. “My lips are sealed.” He nodded, as he quickly got off the couch chair and up the ladder to his bed. Yuki let out a small sigh and left the room, closing the door behind him. He felt his cheeks. They were warm. His heartbeat thumped loudly in his ears. There was a warm and fuzzy feeling enveloping his entire body. There was no mistaking it, he had a crush on Muku.

“Ugh… it would be nice if I actually read that manga book Muku lent me for advice on how to deal with this…” He muttered, walking back toward his own room, which was right next door to Muku’s. He opened the door and stepped inside, shutting the door behind him when he entered.

“What took you so long?” A voice from the side of the room asked. Ah, it was Tenma. Taichi was also there, sitting on his couch.

“Eh, not many people were out today.” He lied, walking across the room and reaching into a small basket to look for some thread. “Ah, crap.” He slowly came to the realization that he didn’t have any thread left to make adjustments. “The thread’s out. I need to get some more tomorrow.”

“Ooh, can I come with you?” Taichi spoke up excitedly. “It’ll do a great deal of help for me if I knew what I should do on a date at the mall!”

Yuki grimaced. “Nope, not happening.” He answered instantly. “I’ll just go by myself. It should be fine.” Another thing was, he didn’t want to be mistaken as Taichi’s girlfriend while they were out. He’d want anything but that to happen. “You can go back to your room. We can’t really make any adjustments to the costumes right now.”

“Aww… rejected again…” Taichi whined, getting up off the couch and leaving the room. Yuki sighed. He was actually kinda glad that he ran out of thread. For one, he was tired, and all-night sewing didn’t seem to be the best option. He also didn’t want to hear that dumb dog whining because he pricked his finger on a needle. Seriously, he just needed some rest.

He sighed, plopping down onto his couch. ‘And I’ll need to do something about these weird feelings for Muku…’ He thought, a small tint of pink on his cheeks. ‘Eh, I’ll deal with all of that tomorrow.’ He climbed up the ladder to his bed, desperate for some sleep.

—— ————— ——

The next day it was cloudy. Yuki slept in a little before dressing up warmly, bringing a thick coat with him unless it got a little chilly. He grabbed a small bag before heading out of his room to eat breakfast. ‘Huh… the Hack’s still asleep… His loss, then.’ He thought, closing the door silently behind him.

He put the bag around his shoulder and started toward the stairs down to the courtyard, thinking deeply. ‘How should I handle these feelings? I don’t want to tell him straight away, I only found out about it yesterday…’ While he was reminiscing, he lost track of what he was supposed to be doing, and accidentally bumped into someone.

“Ah! S-Sorry Yuki!” He’d remember that voice anywhere. The one he bumped into was none other than Muku, his self-proclaimed crush. He held a few books clutched to his chest, which couldn’t be anything but shojo manga. He seemed to be walking away from the main building. Did he have breakfast already? “Oh, I like your coat! It really suits you.” He complimented him, smiling sweetly.

“Ah, thanks…” His cheeks began heating up again. ‘God, is it really that hard to control your feelings for someone!?’ He thought angrily.

“Are you going somewhere?” Muku asked, tilting his head to the side a little. Did he really have to be so adorable sometimes?

Yuki decided to explain. “Well, I just ran out of thread and fabric the other day, but I still needed to make adjustments for the costumes. That’s why I’m heading out to the mall to get some more.” An idea popped into Yuki’s head, and without thinking, he decided to ask. “Do you want to come with me..?” He said nervously, clutching the strap of his bag tightly.

Muku smiled sadly. “I really wish I could, but I’m afraid I can’t. Kazunari asked me to help on one of his art projects, and he needed some inspiration. That’s why I have these.” He gestured toward the books he was holding, and Yuki soon realized that the books weren’t shojo manga, they were instead magazines. “But..! Umm…” He faltered, glancing away. “We could always go another time if you’re interested…” He smiled softly at him once more.

To be honest, Yuki was a little disappointed. It was fine though. Kazunari’s art project seemed more important, anyways. “Yeah, sure.” He replied.

“Oh, and..!” Muku started, “You should probably go eat breakfast now, it might be getting cold.” He said worriedly, smiling awkwardly.

“Uh, yeah, right.” He agreed. “Umm... see you later.” He said before speed-walking away. ‘Ugh… that was a bit embarrassing…’ He thought, entering the main building to get a small meal before he left. Setting his bag down on the couch, he sat down on one of the chairs for breakfast. Omi was in the kitchen, grilling fish. The director and Juza were also there, but the place seemed less lively today than how it usually was.

“Oh, hey Yuki.” Izumi greeted, smiling at him. “Omi decided to make us a Japanese style breakfast today, so eat up!” Yuki glanced at his plate, and sure enough, a traditional Japanese breakfast sat in front of him. He took a small bite, and his eyes widened. It was just like Omi to make food taste just as good as it looked. “Are you going somewhere, Yuki?” The director asked him, raising an eyebrow. Yuki explained the situation, and the director nodded back to him. “I see. Just be careful out there, ok?”

Yuki nodded as a response, and continued eating. The rest of breakfast was pretty quiet, and surprisingly, nobody came to join them. As he was about to head out the door, however, he heard Omi chatting with Izumi about something. He decided to eavesdrop, and leaned against the wall they were talking behind.

“Did you find any recipes for it?” Izumi asked.

“Well, I did, but I’m afraid that we don’t have the ingredients to make them.” Omi replied.

“Couldn’t you just get some from the bakery near the mall?”

“I could, but that bakery’s really popular, and the lines are pretty long on the weekends. It’s better if we just get the ingredients and make them from scratch.”

“Aw… I hope we’ll be able to cheer Muku up sooner.”

“I hope so too. I’ll see if I have some free time tomorrow to get the ingredients.”

Muku was feeling down? When? He certainly didn’t see him feeling down the past couple days… He sighed and left the building, taking his bag with him. It was better to not let these things bother him too much. 

It was quite a long walk to the mall, but Yuki knew it by heart. His legs moved automatically as he went over what supplies he needed to get. After a short time, he reached the mall and immediately entered the fabric store, grabbing all the things he needed.

He double and triple-checked his basket to make sure that he got enough of everything before leaving the aisle to get it checked out. As he was leaving, however, something caught his eye. He walked over to the nearby shelf it was on and picked it up. It was a ribbon with a pale blue color, and was soft to the touch. It was very pretty, and a gold trimming was sewn around the edge. When you held it up to the light, iridescent sparkles could be seen. When Yuki saw it, it was obvious what it reminded him of. ‘Muku..’ He thought silently, a small smile on his face. He glanced at the price, and luckily, it was on sale. He bought it together with all the other items, but instead put it in his own bag instead of the plastic one that they gave him.

He exited the mall, and started walking back to the dorms. His eyes widened when he saw a small bakery to the side, loaded with customers. ‘Is that the bakery Omi and the director were talking about earlier..?’ He thought, as he started heading towards it. From far away, you couldn’t smell it. But once you neared the bakery, the welcoming smell of freshly made bread and pastries filled the air. No wonder this bakery was so popular.

He thought about Muku, and the conversation Omi and the director had. He hadn’t heard specifically what they wanted to give him, but he knew that Muku loved the taste of chocolate. He saw a poster on the window, and decided to read it. In large letters, it read:

Chocolate Cornets! - Limited time offer- 50% off!

‘Huh.’ Yuki thought. ‘Maybe that’s another reason why the bakery’s so full today.’ Nonetheless, he stepped into the line with anticipation. He knew automatically what he wanted to do with the things he bought. ‘I’ll just tell him that it’s a gift to say “thanks for yesterday”.’ But he knew the truth. He wanted to cheer Muku up, badly enough that he was waiting in a line for god knows how long to get him a gift. ‘This is gonna take a while…’

As time passed, the line grew shorter and shorter, and soon enough, Yuki was able to get the cornets. Instead of buying it with the company’s money, he bought it with his own, a little something more to ensure that he put his heart into his gift. He checked his phone, and the time read that it was 1:00. ‘Crap, I’m late for lunch.’ He hurried back to the dorms, running as fast as his tiny legs could carry him.

He finally reached the building and tiredly opened the front door. As expected, almost everyone was there since most of them skipped breakfast. Sitting closest to him was Muku, but a somber expression was written on his face. ‘They weren’t lying when they said that he was feeling down, huh?’ He thought sadly as he closed the front door and ventured towards his room. He heard a few greetings directed toward him but he ignored them, wanting to get this gift over with unless he got too hungry. Opening his dorm room’s door, he stepped inside and quickly got to work, setting his bags down near the side of his couch and removing his coat.

He grabbed the ribbon and placed it on the table, along with a small pink box and the freshly baked cornets. He opened the small box and placed the cornet inside, along with a small handwritten note addressed to Muku. He set the lid on the box with care, and grabbed the ribbon, measuring it precisely and wrapping it around the small box. He tied it in a neat bow at the top, taking care to not ruin it. He looked at it and frowned. ‘It’s missing something…’ He thought. It then clicked in his mind, and so he was over to one of his desk drawers, searching for the thing he was desperate to find. ‘C’mon… where is it?’ He grumbled in his head. After a few moments, he managed to find what he was looking for. He held it up towards the light, and smiled. It was a small charm in the shape of a crown, with three pink jewels at the top of it. He rushed over to the box, gluing the charm to the middle of the bow, smiling as he finished his mini-project. He exhaled a breath and looked at his hard work. He’d certainly done much better costumes and trinkets before, but he was proud of it.

He picked up the box delicately and rushed back to the lounge, where everyone still was. Muku was having a conversation with the director near the side of the room, so he went over, careful to keep the box hidden behind his back where Muku wouldn’t see.

“Oh, hey Yuki.” Muku said, smiling at him a little. Even so, his eyes seemed to lack something, no doubt that he was still feeling down.

Yuki decided to get straight to the point. “Can we talk in private for a sec?” He asked. He wasn’t sure if everything would go smoothly. Honestly, he was still embarrassed to do the action, despite how they were friends and whatnot.

“Oh! Sure!” Muku accepted instantly, and he bid goodbye to the director, following Yuki outside and into the courtyard. “What did you want to talk about?” He asked.

Yuki took a deep breath. “Here.” He handed Muku the box, face heating up. Muku was surprised, but the simple gesture made his face light up a little.

“Is this… for me?” Muku asked, fascination written on his features. He took it delicately, examining the cute and well-made decorations.

Yuki’s heartbeat sped up, thumping in his ears. “Uh, yeah. You can open it if you want…” He muttered, glancing away. Wow, he was bad at this romance stuff. He waited patiently for Muku to remove the ribbon and open the box. Once he did, his face turned into one of question into one of surprise.

“A chocolate cornet? Yuki, how did you know I liked these?” His eyes sparkled as he picked it out of the box, smiling with glee.

“There’s also a note.” Yuki mentioned.

“Ah, I didn’t see it at first.” Muku placed the cornet back into the box and picked up the note, unfolding it and reading it over with his eyes. The more he read, the more his mouth turned into a smile. “Were you worried about me, Yuki?” He giggled, placing the note back into the box.

Yuki flinched, not expecting the sudden phrase to be said. He certainly didn’t include that in the note, so how did Muku know? “S…So what if I was?” He said with uncertainty, pouting a little. He put his arms behind his back and clenched them together, furrowing his brow. He didn’t think that Muku would be able to find out his motive that easily.

Muku giggled once more. “That’s really sweet of you…” His smile was soft as he picked up the cornet and took a bite. His eyes widened with surprise, and his face brightened, twisting into one of pure delight. “Yuki, this is delicious!” He continued to eat it with content, joy shown with every bite he took.

Yuki watched with relief as the other ate his gift, glad that Muku wasn’t feeling any more down than he was before. He couldn’t deny it, his classmate looked adorable while he ate, making a pink tint appear on his cheeks once more. ‘Why does he have to be so cute all the time?’ He thought.

Once Muku was done, he took the napkin and wiped his mouth, pleased that he had finished his gift. He looked at Yuki and then to the floor, a sad smile on his lips. “Thank you.” He said. They were two simple, everyday words, but it made Yuki’s heart flutter in a way it never had before. “I got a call from my dad after school on Friday about my mom, and I found out that she’s been in a car crash.”

Yuki’s eyes widened in surprise. On instinct he said, “Was she ok?” He furrowed his brow, worried.

Muku looked up. “You don’t have to worry too much, she’s in the hospital but she only suffered minor injuries according to the doctors.” Yuki sighed with relief. Muku decided to continue. “Since the hospital was a while away from here, this morning I asked my dad if he could pick me up today. But unfortunately he couldn’t make it because of another accident that happened on the way here. That’s why I was feeling down over the past few days.” Yuki frowned. He didn’t know that it was that serious. Maybe if he had more info he could’ve given him something better than that cornet. Muku noticed his frown and spoke up once more. “B-But you don’t have to worry! That present made me feel a lot better. I’m sure I’ll be able to visit my mom soon anyways.” 

Yuki still felt unsure about his gift, but he decided that the meaning was more important than the physical object. “You didn’t have to thank me, y’know?” He muttered.

Muku giggled. “Well, it wouldn’t be very polite if I didn’t.” Muku hesitated before speaking up again. “Umm.. Is it ok if I give you something in return?” He asked. 

Yuki raised an eyebrow. “Why would you need to do that? It’s not like my gift was anything big. But if you really want to, then sure, be my guest.” He didn’t think that Muku would offer to give something back to him, but he might as well agree to it. Even if it were something he disliked, the fact that it came from Muku made it a little better.

“Hmm…” Muku thought for a moment, furrowing his brow. “I don’t have anything on me right now… Oh!” Muku’s eyes brightened and he looked toward Yuki with anticipation. “What about a hug?” He suggested.

“Huh?” Yuki wasn’t planning for him to say that. But despite what Muku thought, Yuki quite enjoyed all the hugs he’s given him so far, whether it’s from comfort or just a plain greeting.

Muku then realized something, and he gasped. “Oh no… I totally forgot... you don’t like hugs, do you? Especially if it’s coming from a slow, below-average, weakling like me…” He shriveled up in embarrassment and sighed, disappointed that he made such a grave mistake.

Yuki noticed this, and he frowned. On instinct, he said, “Hey, just so you know… it’s not like I don’t enjoy those hugs of yours… I didn’t say no either.” As he said this, his face turned a bright shade of red. He never thought he’d say that to Muku, of all people.

“Really?” Muku asked, gasping in surprise. “You wouldn’t mind?”  
Yuki blushed. Did he really have to say it again? “Well… that’s what I said.” He muttered, twiddling with his fingers behind his back. As he said this, Muku ran up to him and gave him a great, big hug, wrapping his arms around Yuki’s waist. He squeezed him tightly, pushing all the air out from Yuki’s lungs.

“H-Hey!” Yuki shouted. “You’re hugging me too tight you… you Swindling Wonder Boy!” He used Muku’s other nickname instead of the original “Wonder Boy” instead, making it seem like Yuki was the one being swindled. Nonetheless, Muku loosened his grip, muttering an apology.

Yuki sighed, before wrapping his arms around Muku’s neck. Muku flinched, not expecting him to reciprocate , but he didn’t mind it so much as he held Yuki there without a second thought. Yuki rested his head on the crook of Muku’s shoulder and closed his eyes, enjoying the moment while it lasted. The sweet smell of vanilla filled his nose, making him smile pleasantly. It felt really nice to hold him like this, and surprisingly, he didn’t care if anyone saw. It was almost too good to be true, as the warm and fuzzy feeling enveloped his heart once more.

But of course, all good things must come to an end. Muku let go first, making Yuki jolt, too enveloped in the pleasant feeling to notice that his time spent hugging Muku was over. He silently slid his arms off of Muku’s neck, disappointed that he couldn’t hold him longer. He didn’t show it on his face though, any more and Muku would probably feel uncomfortable hugging him like that.

After a moment, Muku spoke up once more. “Sorry if that was a little uncomfortable for you.. hehe…” Muku smiled awkwardly, seeming to be worried about Yuki when it was really the other way around.

‘Is he kidding?’ Yuki thought. No way would he ever feel uncomfortable in one of Muku’s hugs. Despite what Muku would think, it was harder to pull away than to keep on hugging him. “Whatever, it’s fine. You don’t need to apologise.” He replied.

Muku seemed to let out a breath he was holding before speaking once more. “Good. I just felt bad that you made me that amazing present and that I had nothing to give in return. You’re the first that’s tried to cheer me up, you know?” Muku smiled pleasantly at him, blue eyes looking at him with a warm gaze. The sunlight beamed down on him, casting warm glows on his body. He held Yuki’s gift so tenderly in his hands, as if it might break if he wasn’t careful with it. Yuki couldn’t deny it, Muku looked really dreamy right now. “Oh right, you haven’t eaten lunch yet!” Muku gasped, realization dawning on his features.

Yuki deadpanned on the spot. ‘Crap. I forgot about that.’ He thought, suddenly feeling a wave of hunger envelop him.  
“You should probably get to the lounge, your food’s gonna get cold.” Muku spoke up, carefully putting the lid back on the box he was holding. “And I still need to help with Kazunari’s project. Sorry I won’t be able to join you for lunch.” He smiled apologetically, before turning to leave, content that they both got what they wanted.

Yuki, however, watched him silently. Something was clawing at him, telling him to speak up before it was too late. So without a second thought, he did. “Wait.” He started, desperation filling up the only word he said. Muku stopped in his tracks, turning back to look at him curiously. ‘Ugh… I should really learn how to think before I speak…’ He thought bitterly. Well, it was now or never. “Can…” He hesitated a bit, before deciding that, yeah, he was ready to do this. “Can you meet me tomorrow on the balcony? A-after dinner?” He could feel his cheeks heating up from embarrassment. Gosh, he probably looked like an idiot right now.

Muku smiled at him once more. “Sure!” He replied, and turned his back on him again without even asking why. Despite what Muku had said, Yuki walked the opposite way from the lounge, and instead walked up the stairs toward his room, slammed open the door and stomped on over to his couch, where he did a mighty face-plant. “Ughhhh! I’m such an idiot!” He shouted, muffled into the fabric of the cushions as he grabbed a pillow and sat up, slouching a little. He buried his face into it and screamed once more, letting all of his struggles and inner feelings for Muku out right then and there. He shouted and screamed with frustration until his throat was sore, and till his voice couldn’t mutter another word. ‘I’m hopeless.’ He thought, as he picked up the pillow he was holding and threw it onto the floor. He pouted silently, while his eyes were a little teary and his face flushed a vibrant red. ‘Why the hell did I have to tell him that? What am I even going to say to him tomorrow? It’s not like I can just be straight-up and tell him what I want..! I’m not any good at that kinda stuff anyways.” He sighed softly before lying down on his couch, a little tired from his temper tantrum.

It was silent for a few more moments until he heard a sound coming from the other side of his room. “Uhh…” Yuki sat straight-up, so violent that it made the other flinch. That other person was none other than Tenma, holding a pair of bonsai-trimming scissors in his hands. “I’m sorry, but what just happened?” He continued, furrowing his brow.

Yuki’s eye twitched, but honestly, he was too tired to care about his roommate hearing his little fit. “Wouldn’t you like to know? Huh, Hack?” He replied raspily, crossing his arms in front of him. The other sighed before putting the scissors on the table and sitting down properly, staring straight into Yuki’s eyes.

“Look, I’m probably not the best at listening to this kind of stuff, but what the hell, who cares.” He took a deep breath in and out, before clearing his throat. “What’s wrong.” Yuki hesitated, not sure if he should really tell him or not. “Look, you don’t have to tell me, but it looks like you really need a filter.” Yuki’s pout turned into a frown as he said this. Was Tenma really trying to care for him? Well, they weren’t on the best of terms, but the Hack was right. He needed a filter. Badly.

Yuki looked down, before muttering a soft “Come here.” Tenma did as he said, walking over to the opposite side of the room and sitting on the other’s couch. Yuki took a deep breath before letting it all out, right then and there. His voice was a little raspy, and he was terribly tired from all that screaming. Nonetheless, he continued ranting for more than a minute or two before calming down, even more tired than before. Tenma looked at him in understanding and pity, something he didn’t expect from the Hack at all.

Once he managed to catch his breath, Tenma spoke. “I see. So you have feelings for Muku and you’ve decided to confess to him tomorrow, but you’re not sure how to go about it, right?” Well, that was half of it. The other half was surviving the time before the deadline came, which also meant getting through school. “Huh… let’s see…” Tenma furrowed his brow in concentration, thinking. Something seemed to click, and his eyes widened. “I’ve been in a lot of romance films, and trust me, it’s normal to feel like this the day before you confess. I’m not sure if this is very realistic or not since I’ve never had a crush on anyone, but I think it’s the best advice I have.” He cleared his throat before continuing, Yuki listening to him in anticipation. “You see, the more you panic about it, the more stressful it’ll become. I think you’re also worried about him rejecting you and the whole friendship-being-broken thing, right?” Yuki nodded with affirmation. “Well, trust me on this, because Muku’s not the type to get mad at anyone, let alone break a friendship with someone who tried to confess to him. I mean, he reads shojo manga a lot, and I’m sure there has to be some stories in there where the main character gets rejected. He’s not the person to do that, and I’m sure you know that more than anyone, Yuki.” Those words he said seemed to lift an invisible weight on Yuki’s shoulders. Tenma was right, he knew Muku well, and he wasn’t the type to reject someone so harshly like that.

“Try not to panic, huh..?” Yuki muttered, frowning.

Tenma sighed in frustration. “And look, if you think you can’t get through the next day without venting something out, just… Just remember that I’m here, alright?” Okay, now that was pretty cheesy coming out of someone like Tenma. Yuki couldn’t complain though, he liked this side of Tenma more than his other stuck-up self.

Yuki smiled, feeling a little better after his chat. “Thanks for the advice.” Tenma smiled back, before putting his hand on Yuki’s shoulder and patting it twice.

“No problem.” It was meant to be a comforting gesture, but as soon as he did it, a sharp glare from Yuki stabbed him like a knife.

“Don’t touch me, Hack.” He pushed Tenma’s hand off his shoulder before heading toward the door, satisfied with how the conversation turned out.

“Hey!” He could hear Tenma shout behind him as he left, shutting the door before he could make another word. Yeah, he’d certainly take Tenma’s advice to heart. He didn’t want Muku to know what’s up with him if he couldn’t focus in class the next day. He just needed to stay focused. Oh, and get some food. His stomach was dying for a meal.

—— ————— ——

Despite what Tenma said yesterday, getting through school was easier said than done. All through his class he couldn’t focus on his work, or what the teacher was trying to say to the rest of the class. Instead he was thinking about what he would say to Muku when the time came. He wasn’t panicking, but he did know that planning something beforehand was better than winging it. He sighed. Sometimes he wished that the deadline was on a weekend and not on a weekday. He twiddled the pencil between his fingers, thinking hard about his choice of words. It shouldn’t be something too sappy, he was bad at that kinda stuff, and it would be pretty embarrassing to do. Would a simple “I love you.” do? He frowned in frustration. No, it was too sudden.

“Rurikawa.” He jumped, startled. He looked up and found the teacher staring at him with a strict glare. “I asked you to answer this question for me. Can you do that, please?” His classmates stifled laughs as he stood up in embarrassment, pencil still in hand.

His eyes scanned the whiteboard silently as he did the math in his head. “It’s fifty-seven.” He answered bluntly. 

The teacher sighed. “Correct. But would you please try to pay more attention in class?” She turned around, opening the whiteboard marker and putting the lid on the back of it. He sat down and frowned. God, that was humiliating. He watched as his classmates snickered at him, some muttering to one another silently as the teacher wrote the answer on the board. He realized something, and he swiveled his head around to look at Muku, who flinched before looking back at his textbook. There was no way that Muku didn’t see what happened. No doubt he was going to bring it up after class. Great. 

The rest of the class went by smoothly, and the bell rang, signalling that it was time for their next class. “Don’t forget your homework for today, you’ll need it done by tomorrow.” The teacher announced strictly, getting a few exasperated sighs and groans from some of the students. Yuki closed his textbook with a sigh and stuffed it in his bag along with his pencil, before putting it on his back. Before he could leave, however, he could feel a small tap on his shoulder. He turned around, and the person who tapped him was none other than Muku.

He looked concerned, worry shown on his face. “Yuki, are you alright? It’s not like you to get distracted like that.” He frowned in pity, clutching the straps of his bag as he waited for a response.

“I’m fine.” Yuki muttered, walking out of their classroom where the rest of the students were, heading to their next class before it was too late. Muku followed suit, walking beside him silently.

They made it up the stairs before Muku decided to speak up. “Is this about what’s happening tonight?” He asked.

“No!” Yuki shouted instantly, getting a few glances and raised eyebrows from other students near the stairwell. He cleared his throat before speaking once more. “I-I mean, no. It’s not about tonight, it’s about something else.” He rushed down the hallway and Muku still followed, still probably concerned for him.

Muku glanced away for a split second before looking back at him with concern. “If you have something you need to let out, Yuki, it’s better if you tell me now instead of later.” He stared at him firmly, not averting his gaze.

Yuki sighed in frustration. “I told you I’m fine. If I had something to say, I would’ve said it already, right?” That came out a little too harshly for Muku’s taste, making him flinch. “Look, let’s just get to our next classes, ok?” He looked down, averting eye contact with the other before turning left, the opposite way of Muku’s classroom. Muku stared at him silently as he walked away, concerned. He sighed before making a right, making the decision to ask him about it later on the balcony.

—— ————— ——

“Ouchhhh, I pricked my finger again!” Oh my god, can’t that dumb dog just shut up?

He sighed melodramatically before turning his head to face Taichi. “Do you seriously have to whine every time you prick your finger?” He asked, turning his head back to face the fabric he was currently stitching together. It was silent for a bit, nothing but the slow rattling of the sewing machine echoing throughout the room.

“Are you in another one of those moods again?” Taichi asked in concern. Out of everyone in the company, Taichi was the only person who knew about Yuki’s little ‘moods’. It usually could be seen when he was sewing, as he let out his emotions through stabbing needles into fabric over and over. Taichi’s seen most of them, and unfortunately gets most of the damage when it happens. This time wasn’t an exception.

Yuki sighed. “Look, could you just shut up for a second?” He snapped impatiently. Taichi flinched, used to his outbursts, but not enough to not react to them.

Taichi looked down at the button he was sewing, before looking back to Yuki. He thought somberly for a moment before letting out a sigh. “Look, you’re one of the strongest people I know.” Taichi spoke up. Yuki stopped instantly. Where was he going with this? Taichi decided to continue. “Whatever it is that’s going on, you’ll get through it. And I know that I’m not the best person to get advice from, but I know that you’re feeling stressed. The angrier you are, the harder it is to get through things. You can’t just poke a needle into fabric and expect all your problems to go away, it doesn’t work like that.” Yuki frowned. Taichi was right, in a way. “If you need to solve a problem, I think you need to calm down a little first.” Taichi said. Yuki huffed, a small weight being lifted off his shoulders. He didn’t quite think that the dumb dog had such helpful advice like that, but he was quite grateful for it, anyways.

“Thanks.” He muttered, not expecting Taichi to hear it.

Taichi had the biggest grin on his face as he replied. “Glad I could help, Yuki!” He was about to say something else before a knock at the door interrupted the conversation.

“Come in.” Yuki said, turning off the sewing machine. The door opened, and it was Izumi who peeked her head through the door, eyes sweeping over the side of Yuki’s room.

She smiled sweetly. “Hard at work, huh?”

Taichi nodded in agreement as Yuki just sighed. “Yeah, yeah. What do you want?” He rolled his eyes before looking back at Izumi once more.

“Well, Omi just asked me to come along and tell you guys that it’s time for dinner.” She said, a bright smile on her face. “You should probably come now before the food gets cold.”

Yuki’s mouth opened to speak, but Taichi cut him off. “Sure! We’ll be there in just a sec!” He replied, before continuing to stitch the button on the fabric.

“Great!” Izumi exclaimed, before closing the door to their room quietly. Yuki glanced back down at the fabric and sighed. His eyes rose to the clock on the wall, reminding him that it was only a matter of time before he had to confess. He clenched his hands into fists. It was alright, he just needed to stay confident. Taichi was right, he was sure he could handle a simple confession.

“Alright,” Yuki spoke up. “After you’re done with that button, hand the costume to me. We won’t be able to continue sewing after dinner, unfortunately.” As he said this, he grabbed the fabric out of the sewing machine and started putting everything back in its place.

Taichi’s eyes widened. “Huh? Why?” He asked, surprised.

Yuki hesitated for a moment before speaking. “...I have plans.” He decided to say, putting the costume rack back where it was supposed to be. He could tell that Taichi had the urge to reply, but he didn’t ask, continuing to sew the button onto the fabric. Once he was done, he handed it to him as he was told to. Taichi stood up and was about to leave the room before Yuki spoke up once more. “And, uh.” He started, frowning a little in embarrassment. “Sorry about what happened earlier. I didn’t mean to shout at you like that.” He looked away, averting his gaze away from Taichi.

Yuki could, however, hear the enthusiasm as Taichi spoke, signalling that he was forgiven. “Hey, It’s no problem! It happens!” He glanced back at Taichi, and the other was smiling brightly at him, no trace of anger or disappointment on his features. He managed to give a small smile back in return before he left the room, but he still didn’t feel well. There was an ache in his chest, and he was feeling a little stressed.

‘I guess it’s better to get dinner instead of standing here like an idiot.’ He thought, sighing tiredly. He made his way out of his room, making sure to close the door, before making his way down the stairs and across the courtyard to get to the lounge once more. Once he was there, he scanned the room. He saw Misumi chatting to Sakuya about triangles, Omi cooking in the kitchen with Tsuzuru helping him out, Tasuku sitting next to Tsumugi at the table, and many others filling the room. He checked twice, and then three times, and realised something. ‘Wait… Muku isn’t here.’

He noticed the director sitting at the table, but nobody was talking to her at the moment. Yuki went over, and made the decision to ask her about it. “Hey, Currian?” He called out, sitting down in the empty seat next to her.

Izumi’s eyes widened as she saw him. “Oh, hey Yuki! Did you need something?” She asked.

“Uh, yeah.” He started, looking around the room once more to make sure Muku really wasn’t here. “I just wanted to ask, where’s Muku?” He said, raising an eyebrow at her.

Izumi’s eyebrows raised. “Oh, right! Muku and Kazunari suggested having dinner earlier than usual, since Kazunari had an art project he needed to finish. Apparently it was due tomorrow, and they still had a lot they needed to get done.” Her excitement quickly turned to concern. “I just hope they don’t stay up too late… especially Muku, he needs to get a good amount of sleep...” She muttered worriedly, thinking back to the time Muku’d accidentally slept in on a school day.

As she said this, Yuki’s brows furrowed as well. Would Muku have time to meet him on the balcony before it was too late? It would mean extra time to prepare for his confession, but he didn’t want to deal with the amount of stress he’d feel if that were to happen. He sighed, frowning. “Thanks for telling me.” He said, before filling the plate in front of him with various types of food.

“Sure, no problem. Why’d you ask?” She replied.

Yuki took a bite of his food before answering. “Eh, I just needed to talk to him about something.” He continued eating, relishing in the heavenly flavors that met his taste buds. Neither said a word for the next few moments, hearing the loud conversations between the other people in the room before Izumi spoke up once more.

“Say, what did you call Muku for yesterday?” At this, Yuki choked on his food. He almost forgot that he left Izumi hanging yesterday, as he purposefully interrupted their conversation. “Woah, hey, are you alright?” She asked worriedly, as she made a move to help him out.

He coughed a little before speaking. “I’m fine.” He replied, frowning a little. “I just… needed to give him something.” He muttered softly. He didn’t want anyone to know that he gave a cornet to Muku. Despite it being a friendly gesture, Yuki considered it to be a tad bit embarrassing on his part. He rarely gave gifts to other people, as he usually considered it “stupid” and “a waste of his time”. But the joy that Yuki was met with when he gave Muku that gift warmed his heart. Maybe if he’d known his feelings for Muku a lot sooner, he would’ve had more chances to see that expression on his face before it was too late.

“Could it be… a chocolate cornet?” Izumi suggested smugly.

Yuki flushed immensely. “H-How did you know that?!” He yelled at her, brows furrowing and bottom lip outstretched in a pout.

Izumi decided to continue, happening to enjoy poking and prodding at Yuki. “Well, Muku was gushing about it all day yesterday. He just couldn’t stop talking once he started! I actually had to have a little chat with him away from the others to calm him down.” She explained, wiping her mouth with her napkin.

Yuki raised his brow. “Away from the others? Was it important?” He asked. For some reason, he could feel a twinge of jealousy at the statement. So Muku could be there for him most times but not the other way around? Seems a bit unfair, if you asked him.

Izumi thought about it for a second. “I’m not sure I’m in the position to say, Yuki. I’m afraid it’s something he needs to keep a secret for the time being.” She said, smiling softly.

“Oh.” He replied. Great. Now that just made him feel even worse. So Muku could keep a secret from him? He didn’t even think about hiding anything from Muku. What is he getting in return? He sighed as he stabbed his fork into a piece of meat. ‘At least the food is good…’ he thought.

Izumi got up from her seat, lifting her now empty plate. “It was nice talking with you, Yuki, but now I have to chat with Sakyo about the money problem we’re having. See you around?” She asked, smiling brightly at him.

“Uh, yeah. See ya.” He bid her farewell as she made her way over to the sink. He clenched the fork in his hand, grimacing. His feelings for Muku could’ve changed with the new information, but he could still feel the warmth emanating on his cheeks whenever he thought of him. ‘Yup. Still lovesick.’ If he was in his room he would’ve bashed his head on his desk, but since he wasn’t, he just sighed exasperatedly. He had almost finished his dinner. Almost time for him to confess.

Once he was done, he thanked Omi and Tsuzuru for the food before putting his plate in the sink. He left the lounge and went up the stairs to the balcony, sweat beading on his forehead. With every step his nervousness increased, and the stronger the feeling was to postpone the meeting. Nevertheless, he kept on walking, confident that he could reach the balcony without backing down. He reached the top of the staircase and headed over to the entrance for the balcony. He placed his hand on the doorknob and closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. This was it. Beyond this door would be the answer to his feelings, and possibly the last time he’ll ever get to have a normal conversation with Muku ever again. He grit his teeth and twisted the doorknob, forcing himself to move even though the feeling in his chest told him otherwise. Pushing open the door, he took in the fresh air, breathing it in with a sigh.

He could’ve picked another time to confess, but this seemed, coincidentally, the right choice. It was almost sunset, and the sky was littered with the most beautiful array of colors he’d ever seen. Streaks of pink, orange, and purple covered the sky, and a small breeze flitted past him, making his olive-green hair move along with it. It was like the weather knew what he wanted, even though the nervousness consumed his entire body just a few moments before. Looking at the scenery, he managed to smile, quietly closing the door behind him and walking off to the edge of the balcony to get a better view. For a moment, he seemed to forget why he was here in the first place.

He sighed, looking down. He couldn’t ruin this. Not in a scenery as perfect as this one. He turned around to face the door, straightening his posture with anticipation. His features were interlaced with worry as he waited, fidgeting with discomfort. It wasn’t like him to be so nervous, but he couldn’t help it. Being like this, waiting for Muku, made his heartbeat quicken, both from embarrassment and apprehension. Time was passing by as the sun was just touching the horizon. He glanced toward it, then looked back toward the door. He was confident that Muku would make it here on time, even though Kazunari’s art project would interfere. The sun was lowering, and he furrowed his brow. Would he?

Maybe he wouldn’t, as he waited second after second, minute after minute. Time just kept passing by until the sun was just below the horizon at this point. He clenched his fists, tears coming to his eyes. He didn’t know why he was crying over something stupid like this. Muku probably thought of it as nothing, anyways. Besides, he wouldn’t ever think of it as a love confession at sunset, and if he did, there was no way that he’d believe it, right? He turned his back from the door, walking up to the railing and gripping it tightly, tears blinding his vision. It was stupid. It was all so stupid. This breakdown only proved that he was a weak person inside, past all those boundaries he put in front of himself. Forget what Muku said, it’s not like everything he says is right anyways-

“Yuki?” Said someone lifted his head, gasping a little in surprise. “I’m so sorry I’m late, I tried to finish the art project as fast as I could. Did… did you want to talk about something?” Oh, he had no idea.

He wiped the tears from his eyes and breathed in deeply. He didn’t think this moment would ever come, but it was happening, right now. Just don’t mess this up. Once he thought he looked composed enough, he turned around, facing Muku. he heard a small gasp emitting from the other, but he wasn’t sure why he did so. Nonetheless, he walked toward him, clasping his hands behind his back. “I… I need to tell you something important.” He finally said, looking away from him.

“I thought so…” Muku replied, looking concerned. “You’ve been acting really weird lately, is something wrong?” He asked. Yuki sighed once more. To be honest, he didn’t really plan much for this conversation, despite all the thinking and brainstorming he did in the morning. He’d be lying if he said he was prepared for this.

“But, uh… First I wanted to say, thank you.” Yuki started.

Muku’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Why? You already said thanks with that gift you gave me, it even said it on the note.” 

Yuki flushed a little. “Well, I’m not just saying thanks for what you did the other day, I’m, uh…” God, couldn’t he keep himself a little more composed? “I… I wanted to say thanks for all the times you’ve helped me throughout the past year.” He was very embarrassed as he said this, but found that it was ok, as Muku’s expression softened, and a small smile slowly spread on his face.

Muku chuckled a little. “The small chats helped, huh?” It was true, sometimes they’d have personal talks while they were alone or studying, but for Yuki, it was a big deal. Talking with others about his problems helped him ease his insecurities enough about his cross-dressing, especially if that person was Muku. “But, I’m a little confused… Why are you telling me this right now? It’s a little sudden.” Muku’s smile turned into a frown as he pondered what it could be.

‘Seriously? Out of all those shojo manga cliches he’s seen, he couldn’t even think of one?’ Yuki thought exasperatedly. Well, he just had to get to the point. He looked down, his heart thumping mightily in his chest, face flushing. Should he really say it? If he made the wrong decision, he’d never be able to forgive himself. He’d never be able to see those bright eyes whenever Muku ranted about shojo manga, or the high-pitched lilt of his voice that he adored so much when Muku spoke, the delicate touch of his fingers as they ran through his hair…

It made him tear up again, just thinking about all the things that he’d lose if Muku was gone. “Yuki, are you alright?” Muku asked worriedly, taking a step closer. No. He wasn’t alright. He didn’t want to lose Muku, but at the same time, he also didn’t want these feelings bottled up in him forever. The decision he had to make made him break down on the spot, tears running down his cheeks. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want this at all, but he was the one who put himself in this situation. He deserved whatever was going to happen to him. 

“Hey, Yuki…” Muku stepped forward and grabbed ahold of his hands, gripping them tightly. “You don’t have to keep it in. I’m your friend, right? You can tell me anything.” Right, his friend. He sobbed as Muku said that, more tears blinding his vision. Why did he have to be so weak inside?

“A...Anything?” Yuki asked, nervously looking up at the other.

Muku smiled, raising a hand and using his thumb to push away the tears on Yuki’s cheeks. “Anything.”

At this moment, Yuki realised that they were much closer than how they originally were. The tears were still falling, but Yuki’s heart started to beat faster as he saw the smile that adorned Muku’s face. ‘He looks so handsome right now… just like a prince.’ He thought, a blush coating his cheeks. He hesitantly put his hands on Muku’s waist and mustered up the courage to look him straight in the eyes. “Muku… I love you.” He said, voice almost a whisper.

Yuki wanted to shut his eyes, or look away, or even put his head down, but he was too focused on how pretty Muku looked to do it. He found that Muku’s expression didn’t change. In fact, his smile was even wider than before. Using the hand he used to wipe away his tears, Muku tucked his hair behind his ear and leaned in close, bringing their lips together. 

Yuki didn’t expect it, as he was too caught up in processing what was happening to kiss back. Soon enough, it was over, and Muku pulled away first, expression beaming. “I love you too, Yuki.” He finally replied, staring into his eyes fondly . “Well, I guess the kiss already gave away my answer, didn’t it?” He chuckled.

Yuki, however, was as red as a tomato. He couldn’t believe that Muku kissed him. He couldn’t believe that Muku returned his feelings, either. But a wave of relief spread through his entire body, making him too exhausted to think about those things. He took a deep breath and looked Muku in the eyes once more. His gaze traveled to his lips, which were rosy-pink in color. “Can we do that again?” He immediately suggested, practically begging to feel Muku’s lips against his own once more. 

Muku complied, leaning in to close the distance between them. This time, Yuki made sure to kiss back, wrapping his arms around Muku’s neck as he savoured the moment. The feeling of Muku’s lips against his own felt absolutely amazing. They were so soft and warm that it made Yuki never want to pull away. Muku smelled like the soothing flavour of vanilla, and although he’s smelled it before, this time it felt so new to him. He felt Muku’s hand as it settled on the back of his neck, and it, too, was as warm as his lips. After what felt like a lifetime to Yuki, though it was only just a moment, they separated. 

He no longer felt that nagging feeling of desperation anymore. In fact, he was quite satisfied, as he stared into Muku’s eyes lovingly. Without another thought, he buried his face in his chest and hugged the other tightly, happy with this outcome. Muku wasn’t expecting it, but he hugged back, just as happy as he was. After a few more moments, Yuki let go and instead grabbed Muku’s hand, smiling. “C’mon, I wanna show you off to the others.” He said quickly, before dragging him off the balcony.

“E-eh!?” Muku yelped, startled. “S-show me off..?” He replied, following Yuki as they ventured back to the lounge.

“Yeah, I wanna rub it in everyone’s face that I have a significant other, and they don’t.” Yuki said. He looked back at Muku and smiled, something that he didn’t do often. Muku flushed, but smiled back. Little did Yuki know that Muku adored his smile, and would’ve given anything to see it. They were both silent after that as they rushed back, but as they did, Yuki was silently contemplating.

Understanding. He’d wished his entire life to be understood by others. But, as they rushed back, holding each other’s hand, he felt that being misunderstood wasn’t entirely a bad thing. Besides, he’s got Muku to help him get through it. There’s nothing he could possibly want more. “...Yeah.” He muttered silently. “This is fine.”

They both entered the lounge as the start of a new relationship bloomed between them.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my gosh, that took so long to write! I really didn’t expect my first A3! fanfic to be this long, especially not as long as 14k words :/ But that aside, I really enjoyed making this! As you can already tell, my favourite ship is Muku x Yuki, and I’ll probably write more of that in the future if anyone’s interested :3


End file.
